We are in the last section of Genesis, at the end of the cycle of stories about Joseph. Last week, Joseph revealed to his brothers that he was their long-lost brother. Their reaction was shock and fear. Joseph tried to calm them down and explain: "And now, do not be sad, and do not be angry with yourselves for selling me here, because God sent me before you to preserve life." (Genesis 45:5) Joseph placed his entire story of being sold by his brothers within a clear framework: he had arrived in Egypt by God's providence, in order to save his family from famine and enable them to survive. The brothers, on the other hand, who until a moment ago saw Joseph as a threatening and abusive Egyptian ruler, suddenly discovered that he was their brother. The same man with absolute power, the one who played with them, imprisoned them, threatened and frightened them, was the brother they had hurt. And if so, what they had experienced until now was revenge (even if out of great and justified anger towards them). Had Joseph taken sufficient revenge? Had Joseph forgiven them? It was a moment of upheaval – unclear, frightening, but also potentially reassuring, because perhaps now their trials would come to an end.

Joseph's invitation to the entire family to come down to Egypt seems like a sign of reconciliation. The issues have been resolved, and the past is behind them. Joseph provides for his brothers, cares for them, and gives them a place to live and security. And the highlight: finally, the father and his beloved son, Jacob and Joseph, can be together. It seems that the story has come to a peaceful conclusion, that the family has been reunited and that it is possible to move on.

But then, in our parashah, Jacob is gathered to his fathers, and it seems that fear returns: And Joseph's brothers saw that their father was dead, and they said, "Joseph will surely hate us and repay us for all the evil we did to him."evil we did to him." The brothers fear that Joseph will continue to hold a grudge against them and do them harm. If so, what has actually happened all these years? Have the relations between the brothers not stabilized and solidified? Is the story not yet over? Why do they feel that Joseph has not yet forgiven them?

Nachmanides says that Jacob never knew that his sons had sold Joseph; they were afraid to tell him for fear that he would curse them, and they continued to maintain the lie all those years. Joseph himself did not tell Jacob, because he did not want to bring a curse upon the family and perhaps because he did not want to speak ill of them again, as he had done in his youth. So as long as Jacob was alive, there was a framework that held the family together and enabled forgiveness. With Jacob's death, what had been left unsaid and unresolved resurfaced. Therefore, the brothers turned to Joseph with a request and a plea: “Please forgive your brothers" transgression and their sin" (50:17). For the first time, we hear the brothers asking for forgiveness in words. This appeal reveals how deeply the wound still lives within them, and how the forgiveness they have been given so far has not been complete and genuine for them.

And indeed, did Joseph forgive his brothers?

Joseph's response to his brothers" request for forgiveness echoes what he had already told them: "And Joseph said unto them, Fear not, for am I in the place of God? You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good, in order to bring about today's result, to preserve many people alive.' (Genesis 45:19-20) In other words, "everything comes from God'—the good, the bad, and the not-so-bad. He does not deny their evil intentions: he knows full well what they did to him. Nevertheless, Joseph chooses to put the story behind him by giving meaning to the bigger picture. Not by returning to the hurt and seeking personal forgiveness, but through the belief that everything was ordained from above and that the injustice done to him was part of the path that God had paved for him. The concept of everything being for the best is deeply rooted and familiar in Judaism: 'This too is for the best.“ Not as a denial of the pain, but as a suggestion for a different way of framing it. And apparently, for Joseph, this is the path to forgiveness and healing.

The brothers, on the other hand, are in a completely different place. The good that came out of the injury and the story of the sale does not satisfy them; they are troubled, what they did was indeed bad, and they bear guilt and shame. For them, saying that it was all God's doing does not necessarily alleviate their need to be sure that Joseph has forgiven them for their actions. Such a statement sounds like a deflection of human responsibility and an unwillingness to deal deeply with the process of forgiveness between them. Now that they no longer need to hide from Jacob, they cannot continue their lives without truly forgiving each other. Until that happens, the brothers fear Joseph. They want to take responsibility for their actions in order to free themselves from guilt, but they also need Joseph's deep forgiveness, which he may or may not be able to give them.

As a supporting anecdote, it is interesting to note that Joseph's initial response to his brothers" request was to cry. "And Joseph wept when they spoke to him.' (Genesis 50:17) It is true that Joseph is known as a crier, but perhaps his crying reflects his unprocessed feelings about what his brothers did to him, which only highlights how much work he still has to do in terms of forgiveness.

The parashah Vayechi invites us to consider that there is no single way to forgive and no single way to heal. Some people heal by explicitly asking forgiveness from the offender and acknowledging the pain caused; others heal by finding broader meaning and faith; some heal through time and distance; and some wounds remain open and become part of the story of life. The Torah does not decide which way is better. It presents a complex human picture and allows us to recognize that different people deal with pain and hurt in different ways.

I think that the fact that the Book of Genesis ends with the theme of forgiveness is no coincidence and is very relevant to our times. It is a message that speaks of forgiveness as a stepping stone to healing and prosperity. In order to break the cycle of hurt and violence, we must find the strength to forgive and confront the pain and difficulty, rather than moving on without addressing the depth of the hurt we have suffered and inflicted on others. The parashah Vayechi leaves us with a question that is both personal and public: How will we choose to heal our pain? Joseph was so hurt, and when he reached a position of power, he acted out of pain that turned into revenge. What will we choose: power and pain after the fact, or the power of forgiveness out of pain and healing? How can we hold on to our power without turning our wounds into justification for hurting others, even if they have hurt us?.

Perhaps healing does not begin with justification or judgment, but with the ability to distinguish between pain and revenge, between protection and abuse. This is not a suggestion to erase what has been done to us, but neither is it an agreement to shape us as a society solely through our wounds, but rather through the forgiveness we grant each other.

A peaceful Sabbath